For the past 8 months, I have been grieving the loss of my mom. She passed in January. Since then, I have wrestled with the loss of my Mom and blaming God for taking her. Last night, I had the most vivid dream of my Mom that helped me in such a moving way.
The dream was of me and my dad in our living room, just talking. Mom appeared in her spot and she had her arm around my dad. It was as if time had stopped during this time because my dad didn’t see her. As she had her arm around him and she looked right at me and said: “Thank you, Mijo”. I didn’t know what for. I asked her one question: Do you miss us. She answered that she did miss us but what was more important she said “I love you. Everything will be okay. You are strong and you and your dad will do fine. I love you Mijo” and then she was gone.
Her appearance healed me.
My mom was my greatest supporter. Even when she didn’t really know what she was supporting, she was always there for me. When she passed, a void was instantly created. Hearing her tell me that she loved me was a massive relief to the pain I had been feeling. She came at the right time for me. I am gearing up to get back into a spiritual walk and this helped me focus on what’s next.
Seeing her in my dream was amazing. She looked happy. She looked at peace. She looked as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulder. Seeing her in that realm really helped my heart heal quite a bit.
I’m ready to reconcile with God.
I had a few months of pain and hatred towards God. Probably still do. But hearing my Mom’s voice again and seeing her in my dreams really helped me move passed whatever ill feeling I had towards God. For now at least.
Seeing her at peace and happy made me realize that she was in such pain here on earth that mourning her is some what selfish. Getting past my own selfishness has helped me open up to the idea of talking to God again.